… So … I’ve been avoiding you …

I have a confession to make … I’ve become aware that I’ve been subconsciously avoiding this blog for a little while. I think this happens every time I start a blog … something tells me to stop writing, that no one reads it, so what’s the point – I don’t even care if no one reads it, that’s the really weird part … and before I realize it, I just stop.  Its like exercising … funny, I haven’t been doing that much lately either. That’s probably why I keep getting headaches.

I’m a sufferer of mild to severe migraines. They used to happen once a month religiously (or more if I was stressed about something or in need of seeing the chiropractor). I realized a few years ago that I don’t have quite as many migraines when I am more consistent about working out … so you’d think I’d be more religious about working out huh? … Well … that’s the thing about religion … it takes discipline … so naturally I’m terrible at it.

This is something I’ve actually never thought about … what would happen if I treated exercising like going to church? I hate missing church … I always feel like I’ve missed an important lesson or I just feel out of sync the rest of the week … Can I make myself hate missing a workout?

I was listening to a podcast the other day – I won’t mention the title, I’m not into free advertising – it was one of those “makes you think” podcasts about the meaning of work. It’s an hour long podcast, but here’s the gist – the way you view your work and whether or not you’re happy doing it boils down to your state-of-mind. If you hate your job because of xyz, instead of focusing on xyz and start focusing on abc. For instance, if you hate your job because your commute sucks and you’re exhausted when you get to work and when you get home because other drivers are idiots … stop focusing on the idiots … find something about your drive you like and focus on that … for example: That jerk cut me off, but this Alicia Keys song I’m singing my heart out to is so awesome I think I’ll play it a couple more times; or OMG this traffic is moving sooooo slowly I may get through this hour long podcast that is so interesting I didn’t even notice I’m almost home now … I think I’ll sit in the car and finish listening to this before going in.

Do you see what I mean? What can I focus on instead of the things I hate about working out so that maybe I’ll hate missing my workout as much as I hate my podcast getting interrupted by my unfortunately early arrival at my destination? Here … I’ll make a likes and dislikes list for working out … keep in mind my chosen work out is Crossfit …

Dislikes: It hurts, I have to wake up stupid early to do it, it hurts, I’m socially awkward at my gym, it hurts, I get a little anxiety about socializing at the gym, it hurts …

Likes: Results, learning/mastering new movements, hitting a new personal record, the crossfit community is pretty awesome – despite my social awkwardness, the way I feel when I’m on track …

OK – those are pretty good lists … I think I might focus on the pain of working out a little too much, but honestly, it’s the social aspects that are my real hinderance to getting my b-u-t-t out of bed in the morning. The crossfit community and being social at the gym are supposed to be what keep you coming back … my problem is I think I care too much about what they think of me while I’m there and what they’re saying about me when I’m not there – more specifically the women at the gym … … I have more issues socializing with other woman than I do socializing with men … I think maybe because I have A LOT more experience socializing with men given my experience in the navy …

Anyway … maybe if I stop focusing on being social and just focus on my goals and feeling good in my body … It’ll start to feel like church …

I’m going to give this a try … I’ll let you know how it goes … hopefully I get out of bed in the morning … I’m already feeling anxious.

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